Starting Over~The Pink Ribbon Sisterhood

Posted on June 13, 2013 by Linda Barrett

TOTAL RECALL–

Total recall. That’s exactly what I experienced this week when I glanced at a picture of a woman post-op with a bi-lateral mastectomy. Her name is Susie. She’s a blogger, an extrovert, with a wild sense of humor. So it was natural for Susie to put herself out there dressed in a tight elastic bra with two drains hanging down each side of her body.

With one glance, I saw myself, the ME of two years ago. Oh, God. that woman was ME! My stomach clenched, my body shivered and tears welled. My chest hurt. It hurt a lot, partly in sympathy and partly because it still hurts from scar tissue. I recalled the whole experience in a nanosecond. I shouted at the computer screen, “No, no. I can’t go back there.” And like magic, the feeling passed, and I stared again, calmly, at the picture of another warrior who hadn’t volunteered for service. We’d both been drafted into this battle against breast cancer.

I’ve viewed many pictures of women with cancer. Many were the before and after chemo photos. You know the ones I mean: thick head of hair vs. baldness. I’ve viewed dozens and dozens of reconstructed breasts, the products of talented plastic surgeons. I’ve also seen many pictures of women who chose to remain flat after their surgeries. It’s always good to have choices.

But I have never, other than in my own mirror, seen a photo of a women within a week of having had bi-lateral mastectomy surgery. I have never seen someone else before the drains have been removed. Before the first doctor’s appointment. Before raising the arms is possible. One glance at Susie, and I was back there. Remembering, remembering…I remembered everything all too well.

I suspect that I experienced a taste of PTSD–post traumatic stress disorder–that our uniformed warriors live with for many years, some for a lifetime. My little taste wasn’t pretty. In fact, It was scary. Fortunately, I also recalled the love and support of family, friends and others who have walked the same path, and I was able to return to my normal, ordinary world without fuss. My computer screen soon reflected my current work in progress, a story which had nothing to do with breast cancer.

As for Susie? She’s fearless. With the love and support of her family and friends, “normal” is just down the block and around the corner.

Comments– I think courage comes in many forms. From the hero who sweeps a child away from an on-coming car to the single parent taking full responsibility for her family day in and day out. We all show our grit at some time in our lives, often many times. How are you fearless? Is your courage obvious or quiet? Make a comment and you’ll be entered into the June drawing (see below for details).

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I don’t know whether Susie’s cancer is inherited or not, but mine is. I support the non-profit organization called Facing Our Risk of Cancer Empowered, or FORCE. This is the only foundation in the country that focuses on hereditary breast and ovarian cancer. To find out more about FORCE, visit their website at: www.facingourrisk.org

JUNE CONTEST!! Make a comment and your name will be entered into a fabulous drawing. Prizes are your choice of two of the six books shown below plus a $25 gift certificate to Amazon or BN. Browse them at your favorite etailer where you can Look Inside the Book.

As always, thank you for stopping by. I hope to see you for the next edition of Starting Over.

Linda

Starting Over~Fingers on the Keyboard

Posted on June 11, 2013 by Linda Barrett

HERE WE GO AGAIN!

There is nothing scarier for a writer than staring at a blank computer screen, unsure where to start. Fingers, type something! Type anything. Truly, anything will do. Nora Roberts said so, and that lady knows a little something about writing books. Paraphrasing Nora here: you can edit poor word choices, but you can’t edit a blank page. She is so right. I’d better get crackin’.

I’m starting a new book, I’ve written fourteen other novels and should have the confidence to forge ahead without a second thought. But it doesn’t work that way. At least not for me nor for many other writers in my orbit.

I look at that blank screen and feel my heart race, my palms sweat. Oh, my God. I’ve got to come up with about 300 pages of story. I have to introduce fabulous characters and new conflicts to be resolved. I have to take readers on such an emotional ride that they won’t stop reading until the very last page. At this point my stomach hurts, too. I visualize a tall, teetering pile of manuscript pages that should emerge at some point and have to take a deep breath. I need a pep talk. So I give one to myself.

My daily pep talk comes with coffee: Once upon a time there was a beautiful and talented writer…

Calm down. You can do this. You’ve done it before, and you’ll do it again. You love to make stuff up. You love getting to know new characters and figuring them out. You love making them work for the ending they deserve. I keep talking and listening. Everything I’m saying is entirely true. But that insecure little devil in me challenges: Aw, come on. It’s hard work.It nags at you 24/7. Do you really think you can do it again?

I’ve got the hero in mind. I’d met him a few years ago in Pilgrim Cove. A widower who’d recently gone through a broken engagement. I’d left him alone with his little girl, and ever since, readers have been after me to give Adam his happy ending. Okay, now is the time. But who would be the right woman for him? A woman who’d challenge him and drive him crazy? A woman he can’t stop thinking about? She has to be the perfect match for Adam.

I scroll halfway down the first page. My fingers rest on the home keys, and I slowly type Chapter One. I double space and Indent. I’m ready to start Page One, Paragraph One, Sentence One.

Would she use the ramp or try the stairs?

And suddenly, I’m back in Pilgrim Cove, where the ocean is at your doorstep and the residents are in your business. I’ve got a handle on this woman, but I’ll get to know her better when I see how she reacts to the situation she’s in. And the situations I throw at her.

Once again, I’m engrossed in creating a story, in finding out what happens next. I’m not thinking about the number of pages in the whole book. At this moment, I’m thinking only about Chapter One, Scene One. This time my heart’s racing with excitement. I’m having fun! Again.

Are there activities that scare you, but that you want to try anyway? A parachute jump? Living in another country for a time? Or, perhaps writing a book?

POST A COMMENT AND YOUR NAME WILL BE ENTERED INTO THE JUNE DRAWING FOR GREAT PRIZES. The winner will receive TWO of the books shown here (your choice), all written by the members of On Fire Fiction as well as a $25 gift certificate to Amazon or BN (your choice).

All of these books are traditional romances. Some are funny, some are more serious in tone. You can browse them at your favorite etailer and Look Inside the Books. You might be the winner!

As always, thanks so much for stopping by. I hope to see you for the next edition of Starting Over.

Linda

Starting Over ~ Life in the Day Camp

Posted on June 6, 2013 by Linda Barrett

GET YOUR GAME ON!

Mah Jongg tiles. Like cards, they come in suits: bams, craks, dots, winds and dragons.

When I moved to Florida almost two years ago, I didn’t know anyone in this “55 or better” community. In fact, the street I live on was only half built at the time with much land still vacant. I knew I’d have to figure out how to meet some people. Yes, I’m a writer, and I can lose myself for hours while writing a blog or a novel, but at heart, I’m not a hermit. As much as I enjoy visiting with my fictional characters, I’d prefer visiting with real ~~characters.~~..uh..people 🙂 I like socializing. I would be miserable alone at the computer twenty-four/seven.

Mike and I have made many close friends from the time we began our lives together. Some of our friends are from our teenage years in New York. We became “family” with friends from our young parenting days in Massachusetts, and in Texas added several more friends in this category. These close friends were years in the making. These friends are the kind who anticipate what you need and what’s in your heart before your thoughts become words.

I had no expectations of making friends like these here in the day camp. A book discussion group would do. A card game would be great. As for Mah Jongg–or Mahj, as we call it–that would be even better. I’m talking about in-person Mahj, not via computer. All I wanted was to share some down time with some nice people.

I went to a book discussion and enjoyed it. At the end of the hour, I asked about Mah Jongg. By chance, two women needed another player for their game and invited me to sit in the next night. I met the other two players, and the evening turned out well. Now, we were five. I was a permanent member of this Wednesday night group. Then came a Monday afternoon group with some of the same women. Folks, I was in hog heaven. I loved this game. My life was in balance. My writing hours would be broken up with some real people face time – as well as with my visits to the gym. Just perfect.

A friendly game of Mahj. I’m in the green top.

Do you know what happens when you spend several hours a week with the same lovely women picking and discarding tiles, trying to put the dots, cracks and bams in the right order to call Mah Jongg? Know what happens when you spend time chatting with each other in between games? Sharing a piece of history here and there. About children. About husbands. About life in Atlanta or Boston or New York. About former careers. About childhood experiences. About parents long gone or still here. Of course you know what happens.

It took me almost a year to figure out that friendships can form at any time. A game of Mah Jongg evolves into a shopping trip or a dinner with husbands or a girls’ night out. Friendship is about heart and soul. Not age. It’s about being human.

Do you play in a regular game of Canasta, Bridge, Mah Jongg, chess or anything else which became more than “just a game?” Or do you participate in a weekly craft activity like a knitting or quilting circle? Tell us about it.

A NEW CONTEST FOR JUNE!! Make a comment and you name will be entered into a new contest with great prizes. The winner will receive two of the six books shown below (your choice) all written by members of On Fire Fiction as well as a $25 gift certificate to either Amazon or BN (your choice). All of the books are traditional romances in different styles: some are funny, others more serious and evocative. Browse them at your favorite etailer where you can Look Inside the Book. You might be the winner!

As always, thanks so much for stopping by. I hope to see you for the next edition of Starting Over.

P.S. My friends in the day camp are insisting on reading and discussing FAMILY INTERRUPTED as part of the book club. I’ll let you know how it goes — scheduled for the fall.

Best always,

Linda