Starting Over ~ Family Stories

Posted on July 16, 2013 by Linda Barrett

WORDS AND PICTURES — A TRUE TEAM

“A picture is worth a thousand words.” We’ve all heard that phrase so often, we take it as fact. But I say that without words, a picture can be lost forever in the mists of time. I’m talking here specifically about your family pictures.

I’m not the only one who’s recognized this truth. Legions of us have gazed at snapshots, either in an album or thrown into boxes and didn’t know who we were looking at. But it was an uncle. Or great-grandfather. Or your mom’s first cousin whom she remembers very well and with affection.. Sadly, you don’t know this lovely lady at all. And what about all those photos of the guys coming home from WWII? Now, WE will recognize our dads, but will our grandchildren know who these heroes are? And what they looked like?

I don’t know whether this idea of anonymous family members gathered in the ether as some ideas seem to, but suddenly a few years ago, creating scrapbooks become part of our popular culture. Everyone was doing it. The craft stores couldn’t keep enough stock on the shelves. And boy, were the choices pretty. Colorful, patterned, with space for pictures and WORDS.

Fast forward a few years to our digital world where, with the help of cell phones, everyone has become a photographer. They’ve discovered their inner shutter-bug. They’re so happy creating digital albums and preserving memories. I sincerely hope, however, they’re adding descriptions to each photo they take and save. Or one day, these current memories will also be forgotten in the mists of time.

In my world, the story comes first. Then I add a picture. Or a recipe. Or an item of remembrance. Before I became a published author, I wrote a series of stories about my family.Each one was a snapshot of family member, or an event, or a place. Most were combinations of the three. A couple of weeks ago, I shared the story of Real Grandmas with you. I’m hoping some of you will be inspired enough to try writing some family stories of your own. Don’t panic! I’m going to help. For right now though, and for illustration, here are some of the other titles and first lines from my binder, so you can understand what I mean by simple family stories:

Oh, You Kid! My Uncle Sid was the Pied Piper in our family.

The Cop, The Commissioner and the Half-a-Doctor (referring to my mom & her two sisters)

A Fine Romance – In a street length aquamarine dress and white netting in her hair, the bride nervously waited for the signal to walk down the hall to the large front room of the parlor floor where her wedding would be held. The year was 1945. (This is the story of my parents’ wedding. And, no, I wasn’t there!)

Visiting Murray – My cousin, Murray, viewed his profession as one-half art and one-half science flavored with a pinch of comedy. And that was why he was the best dentist in all of Brooklyn…

The stories continue for up to four pages at most. They capture one idea, one event. You can do this!! Members of my family who read these stories long after I’m gone will build a connection to their roots. They’ll have some answers to the age old question of “Where did I come from?” Which I think really means, “Who am I? and Where do I fit in?”

No matter how many books I wrote, books that appeared on store shelves and in book clubs, my mom always insisted that my best book was the one of family stories. What do you think?

Next Tuesday, I’ll continue this thread of writing family stories and give you concrete ways to start out. And then we’ll decide whether to continue. So, post comments! Let me know if this idea appeals to you.

As always, thanks so much for stopping by. I hope to see you for the next edition of Starting Over.

LEAVE A COMMENT AND YOUR NAME WILL BE ENTERED INTO MY JULY CONTEST. Prizes are a choice of two of the books below, written by the award-winning authors of On Fire Fiction plus a $25 gift certificate to Amazon or BN. Remember, some of these are hot, hot, hot, while others…not so much. Your choice!

Starting Over ~ Fingers on the Keyboard

Posted on July 11, 2013 by Linda Barrett

FORGET THE FINGERS ON THE KEYBOARD, WE NEED FEET ON THE TREADMILL!

Oh my, oh my. Look what happened when we were looking somewhere else. When we were focusing on stories and blogs and books. When we sat at a desk in an office building or home office. As we earned our living, we didn’t notice the tiny insignificant half-pound that found a home with us. With us? Hell, it found a home ON us…every year for quite a while. When did Size 10 get to be Size 12? Could our clothes have shrunk THAT much in the dryer?

Many of us, especially the ones who spent our working lives behind a desk, are not alone in this less than joyful discovery. I’m sorry to say that we might have an affliction called T.M.T. which stands for Too. Much. Tush..That’s right. We have too much tush and not enough svelte.

Yes, I know we “clean up” well. We look darn good right after the hair dresser gets finished with us. Not to mention the great mani-pedi with the endless choice of reds, pinks, blues and greens for our fingers and toes. I even saw yellow on the rack, but I noticed no one chose it. We can feel like a million bucks after all that. But my friends, that’s because we’re focusing on the positive and ignoring the negative when, in this case, we should be doing both. Too. Much. Tush. is not a good thing for either our self-image or our health.

My friend and award winning author, Barbara Keiler, loves to run. She runs miles every morning

Barbara Keiler, my friend who runs and writes.

. Every. Single. Day. She lives in New England with many months of lousy weather, but she simply dresses appropriately and sets out–often with camera in hand. I know Barbara for many years and she’s been running for as long as I know her. She is petite in every way but one: her mind is super-sized. She doesn’t worry about T.M.T.

Preventing T.M.T. is why Debra Salonen, another award winning writer friend, (also an On Fire Fiction author) hikes for miles in her California mountains. I never know exactly where she is, but she always posts pictures of herself and family on these jaunts. In addition, she practices Yoga. I don’t know what kind, but she’s loyal to it. She changed her food choices a couple of years ago and lost fifteen pounds. The weight’s remained off. She looks and feels terrific. More important, she is healthy.

Deb Salonen
Yoga, anyone?

I suppose when you’re a full-time writer, you might notice the sedentary nature of your job more quickly than, say, a teacher who’s up from her desk and walking a lot during the day. Or a waitress, who’s always on the go. Of course, with that reasoning, all teachers and all waitresses should be thin. Are they?

Before I became a full-time writer, I managed an adult education program and taught classes there as well. I was always on the go, interacting with students, teaching a half-dozen subjects including role playing job interviews, or I was running from one classroom to another, checking in with the staff. I loved that job. Loved the activity and quiet time mix, and loved the students’ successes. So being a writer and sitting behind the computer all day made me antsy. Even talking with all the characters in my head couldn’t change the reality of sitting in the chair.

I joined a gym. An air-conditioned gym. Okay, confession time. I am a princess who likes to be active but doesn’t like to sweat. Yeah, I know. I’m weird and you can laugh. But sweating makes me itch. So the a/c is a must. For years, I took low-impact aerobics classes three times a week. When we moved to Houston, the classes were not convenient, but I began using the resistance machines. Mike and I also walked two miles every night until it became too hot, and my hands swelled. Houston=hot and humid, and I’m a princess. It was then I discovered the treadmill. Inside the air-conditioned gym.

I want to remain as healthy as possible for as long as possible. Living a sedentary life will prevent me from achieving that goal. I don’t claim to be a doctor, but I read. I listen. I watch. I’ve had health issues in the past, a practice run on how it feels to be incapacitated. To have no strength. To be dependent on others. I didn’t like it. I wanted my vitality back. I wanted my health back. I’d rather take care of myself. Call me Princess Leia.

There’s a gym in the day camp where I live now in Florida. It has several treadmills and I’m on one of them almost every day. Using a treadmill is boring. But there’s a television on the wall right in front of them with closed captions. I haven’t stopped running since I got here. No sweat.

Starting Over ~ Life in the Day Camp

Posted on July 9, 2013 by Linda Barrett

The chorus presentation on July 4th, 2013

WASTING TIME? OR BURNING THE CANDLE AT BOTH ENDS?

“Age puzzles me. I thought it was a quiet time. My 70s were interesting and fairly serene, but my 80s are passionate. I grow more intense as I age.”

The above quote is from the best known work of Florida Scott-Maxwell, The Measure of My Days which she wrote in her 80s. She was a practicing psychologist and playwright who studied under Carl Jung. She lived to be 93 years old. Her book explores how to make meaning out of our later years.

Now, I’m still a long way from being 80, but I think I get it. I look around at my new friends in this community, and I see active, vibrant people who finally have the time to explore their creative sides. Perhaps, their passions.

On July 4th, I attended a celebration in honor of America’s birthday. On stage was the community chorus. It is composed of residents who not only like to sing, but can actually carry a tune! They and their director have given untold hours preparing the program, practicing the songs and arrangements and making sure to show up for every rehearsal. The audience, including moi, filled the large social hall with barely a seat remaining empty. Our applause brought such words of appreciation from the choir director as though WE were doing THEM the favor. And then I realized that a vocal performance was similar to writing a novel. They both need an audience to gain closure. The passion, however, resides in creating the art. It’s hard work, and no one volunteers unless driven to it. Is it worth the effort? In my view, the satisfaction is immeasurable.

Another dream deferred…until now?

Along the walls of the clubhouse are glass cases displaying the creative side of other people. The Photography Club, for example, often shows pictures so well crafted, I would pay for them. They’re of professional quality, and I know that learning the skills to produce those photographs had to have taken infinite amounts of time, attention, and practice. The names of the photographers are in small print, but I take note and compliment the creators when I see them.

In addition to photography, displays of the Woodworking, Quilters, and Ceramics Clubs make a passer-by pause to browse the offerings. Not every item is of professional quality, but I can see how some artists have improved over time. They’re taking their work seriously, haven’t gotten bored, haven’t given up. When I spoke to several in the art class, all I heard was the word love. They love what they’re doing, learning. They’ve always wanted to try. Never knew they could be as good as they are. Sure, some laughed…or snickered. But no one quit.

In the Life Long Learning program, speakers cover topics from the stock market to the solar system. From early philosophers to logic theories. To my own offering of Writing Family Stories.

Exploring the swath of ideas and activities that we promised ourselves we’d do “one day” provides an opportunity to make meaning of these years when our responsibilities are fewer and we finally have the time. I sincerely hope that I grow more passionate as I age. I don’t want to miss the sweet satisfaction of jumping in deep and trying something new or revisiting a long held dream.

How about you?

As always, thanks so much for stopping by. I hope to see you for the next edition of Starting Over.

LEAVE A COMMENT AND YOUR NAME WILL BE ENTERED INTO MY JULY CONTEST. Prizes are a choice of two books below, written by the award winning authors of On Fire Fiction plus a $25 gift certificate to Amazon or BN. Remember, some of these are hot, hot, hot while others…not so much. Your choice:)