Starting Over ~ Speaking and Listening

Posted on October 15, 2013 by Linda Barrett

With a microphone in hand…

Available October 3rd

I’ve had a busy month since the release of HOPEFULLY EVER AFTER on October 3rd. In addition to my usual writing and on-line activities such as this blog and Facebook posts, I was part of several programs in the Tampa area which focused on breast cancer and other diseases that tend to “run in the family.”

Most people dread public speaking. They list it right up there with death, divorce and relocating homes. The thought of being in the spotlight and being coherent in front of a filled auditorium makes their heart race and their sweat glands work overtime. Fortunately, I am not one of these people. My heart rate may go up a notch, but that’s just excitement.

I credit my teaching background where I considered myself “on stage” whether in a room with children or adults. I also credit my mom, who dreaded making professional presentations on her job, but did it anyway. She managed her fear by being prepared. She practiced in the house behind closed doors. Except when she wanted a little critique from my dad or me. I don’t think she memorized every word, but became so familiar with the material that she created her own comfort zone. Despite her prep techniques and the number of presentations she made, however, she never loved doing it.

I can’t say the same! Although butterflies dance in my stomach beforehand, I become energized around the crowd. I learned from my mom, however, to be prepared. And I practice the same way she did. The difference between us comes from personality. She was much more introverted and appreciated my dad being “the mayor of the block.”

Each event I attended was different. One was sponsored by a hospital to honor breast cancer survivors — a big crowd showed up. Another was a panel discussion on hereditary genetics with a mid-sized audience. A third was an intimate gathering of a cancer support group. I have yet to appear at another scheduled event where I’ll be telling my story and reading from the memoir at a community center. Interesting observation – the only time my husband was asked questions was at the support group. I guess intimacy builds trust more quickly.

A radiologist preceded me to the mic at the survivor event. I’m glad she did because she confirmed what I’d already suspected: implants for cosmetic purposes and implants for mastectomies are placed in the body very differently. One of her PowerPoint slides showed a cancerous mass next to an implant. I have an implant. So that mass stole my breath away until I realized that the amount of breast tissue surrounding the implant was large. I suspected this patient had not had a mastectomy. During a mastectomy, almost every speck of tissue is removed. I raised my hand to ask her to clarify and was told that this woman had had breast implants put in for cosmetic reasons. I breathed again. Sometimes, it’s wonderful to be right! I thanked the radiologist profusely and when it was my turn, I almost danced to the mic, eager to provide hope to other women.

Mom would have been proud.

As always, I want to thank you so much for visiting. I hope to see you for the next edition of Starting Over.

HEADS UP! This week five authors, including moi, are releasing CELEBRATE! Five stories, five holidays in one volume. Watch for the announcements here and on Facebook, Twitter and all social media. It’s also one of the books you can choose this month for the contest.

OCTOBER CONTEST! We’ll have two winners this month to celebrate the release of Hopefully Ever After. Post a comment and your name will be entered into a drawing for two of the books below plus a $25 gift certificate to Amazon or BN. Your choice!

Starting Over ~ Act II

Posted on October 10, 2013 by Linda Barrett

If not now, when?

I’ve let lapse my subscriptions to many of the glossy women’s magazines that I devoured as a young working mom. Their targeted customer is the me I used to be, not the me I am today. The current me has more years behind her, more experience with life’s challenges, and presides over an empty nest. Nope. I am not their targeted reader. There is a magazine I subscribe to, however, that seems to realize women of a certain age have a lot going for them, including the courage to change the habits of a lifetime.

Second Acts is a column in MORE magazine that I look forward to reading each month. It’s about women in mid-life, going after what they want–usually career related–at a moment when they realize two things: 1) time is limited and, 2) they’ve been unhappy, depressed, or just unsatisfied in how they earn a living which, of course, affects other aspects of daily life. If they want to grab the brass ring labeled “happy,” they’d better take action now! Some have spouses, others do not. Some have financial substance, others do not. None have acted on a whim. Once they’d made their decision to go after what they really wanted, they planned for it. Step by step. They put their plan into motion and worked harder than they’d ever worked before. The search for job satisfaction is very tempting. And risky. It often requires a huge career change, financial uncertainty, and handling the incredulity of family and friends who usually believe their gal has lost her mind. In short, such a big change is not for the faint-of-heart.

In the current issue of this magazine, for example, an economist becomes a restauranteur. In another issue, necessity was the mother of invention and a steam floor cleaner was born in Korea, eliminating the need for scrubbing floors on hands and knees. The inventor? A working woman who took out a 100K mortgage against her home to create a prototype. Others have gone from the medical field to photography, and from advertising executive to cheese maker. Dreams beckoned and lured. Dreams plus hard work plus passion equal a dream job. Maybe a dream life.

Not all second acts are related to careers. Some people’s passions are personal and satisfied by finally taking action on them. I clearly remember one story from years ago, about a woman who’d always wanted to play the bagpipes. She learned. And practiced at 4 a.m. in her basement when everyone else was sleeping. I don’t remember the aftermath, but I’d like to think she used her talents in her community perhaps at parades, weddings or funerals.

Act II is about making changes. Sometimes it’s related how we look – hairstyle, body fitness or cosmetics. These personal changes might follow a significant life event, such as a divorce or a “big” birthday. Or it might happen because you look in the mirror one day and realize the woman staring back at you is not quite the one you used to see. The woman in the mirror needs some freshening up!

I buy more make-up now than I ever did years ago. Not because I apply it heavily, but because I apply it, period! A dash of lipstick will no longer do. I’ve discovered I like playing with color palettes- eye shadow, lipstick, nail polish. I like chatting with the gals behind the Clinique counter at Macy’s. I’ve learned to trust their opinion. I don’t buy a lot–and they don’t really push–I just think they like their job: make-up artists sharing their knowledge and tricks with everyday women. After we figured out the right shade of foundation and blush, I enjoyed experimenting with other stuff. I’ve become pretty good at it now. More important, I’m having fun. And I think that’s what Act II is all about.

Grab that brass ring, ladies! Have a little fun. If not now, when?

One more thing – If you missed this on Facebook, here’s the link to an article about me that ran in a Tampa regional paper to kick off Breast Cancer Awareness Month for them. I was interviewed at home, and the reporter had to condense a lot of information. I think she did a pretty good job.

http://www.observernews.net/thisweek/front_page/4504-Romance_author_tells_the_story_of_her_battle_with_breast_cancer.html

As always, thanks so much for stopping by. I hope I see you for the next edition of Starting Over.

Newsletter Note: If you’ve signed up for my newsletter, you should have received it last Thursday, October 3rd. If you didn’t, please let me know. If you’d like to receive it, you can sign up here on the website. It’s an easy way to keep up with my writing news, and I promise not to clog your In-box. The newsletter comes out four or five times a year at most.

OCTOBER CONTEST: We’ll have TWO winners this month! Post a comment and your name will be entered into a drawing for two of the books below plus a gift card to BN or Amazon. Your choice! All books from authors of On Fire Fiction!

Starting Over ~ Life in the Day Camp

Posted on October 8, 2013 by Linda Barrett

I AM NOT JULIA CHILD!

But on Sunday, I wished I were. Last time I struggled to make pecan pie. This time it was crepes. Crepes!

Two months have passed since the last neighborhood dine-in where several people host a dinner for eight or ten followed by all participants having dessert together. Everyone is expected to contribute something to either the main meal or dessert. Assignments are made by the “committee.” Very fair. But here’s my question: Why, oh, why do I get the assignments that challenge my sanity?

Last night’s dinner had a French theme. I could have provided an hors d’oeuvre of assorted French cheeses–Brie comes immediately to mind–and fruit. Grapes, kiwi, raspberries…But non-non, I got crepes. Made from scratch. With nutella, chocolate sauce, sliced bananas and whipped cream. So let’s take this piece by piece.

A recipe was provided for the crepe. Eggs, flour, milk, salt, oil. Everything processed in a blender. So far, so good. Then came the actual “pour 1/4 cup of batter into pan, tilting to coat surface. Turn once until golden.” Friends, when the blender is filled with batter, you can’t really read the amounts on the side of the glass. So, I estimated. I poured a little oil into my non-stick 8 inch skillet and then poured some batter. Oops.

Pour, tilt, flip, Oy!

Did I say a little oil. Non, non, my friends. Too much oil! Now I realized what “brush with oil” meant. I hurriedly searched for a basting brush while the first crepe became “golden” on one side. When I thought it was done, I took two spatulas and turned this poor little pancake over. A minute later, I slid it onto a plate. This prototype crepe had ragged edges, “golden” was questionable with all the shades of brown, and the thickness was uneven. In essence, the crepe looked awful. In fact, it looked like another word that starts with c-r–.

My stress immediate jolted skywards. Fifty people would be looking at these crepes later on, eager to culminate their French style meal with the quintessential French dessert. Oy. Trying again, I poured off a little oil into a small dish and dipped in the ends of my non-stick brush before brushing the bottom of the pan. This time I poured a bit more batter and tilted, tilted and tilted that pan, cursing under my breath the entire time. With each crepe, I wished Julia were in my kitchen, at my stove, relieving my stress. Since I couldn’t have Julia, however, I turned to music.

I hit random play on my CD player and immediately BARBRA, NEIL, BILLY, ELTON and Susan Boyle had me dancing and moving, spatulas in hand. Instant stress relief! As I continued to estimate and pour and tilt and “turn once until golden,” I began thinking the crepes looked pretty good. I stacked them, paper towel in between, until I

had enough batter left in the blender for just one more crepe. Images of TV chefs deftly handling their pans filled my mind. Wasn’t I supposed to be a French chef? My crepes deserved a grand finale.

I looked up at my kitchen’s the high ceilings. I looked at the 8 inch pan. I brushed it with oil, poured the last of the mix, waited a minute and carried it to middle of the room. I hefted the pan a couple times to get the feel of it, glanced once more at the ceiling, then at the pan and…I tossed that sucker straight up. Then watched it come down and land.

Perfect!! I’m taking a bow. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I never could have done it without Julia at my side. With confidence returned, I attacked the chocolate sauce. But that’s another story. Maybe next time…

As always, thank you so much for stopping by. A heartfelt thanks to those of you who’ve picked up a copy of HOPEFULLY EVER AFTER. If you haven’t gotten it yet, I hope you’ll consider it. And I certainly hope to see all of you for the next edition of Starting Over.

OCTOBER CONTEST: To celebrate the release of Hopefully Ever After, I’m awarding prized to two people. Gift certificates for $25 and two books from the choices below. All books have been recently released from the authors of On Fire Fiction. Just post a comment and your name will automatically be entered for October’s drawing.