Starting Over ~ The Pink Ribbon Sisterhood

Posted on May 21, 2013 by Linda Barrett

FACING OUR RISKS–

She is stunningly beautiful. Amazingly talented. And emotionally brave. Last week, Angelina Jolie shared her personal decision to stave off breast cancer by revealing she had undergone a bi-lateral mastectomy of her healthy breasts. Privacy is paramount to this actress, and she could have kept silent. No one forced her to say anything to the public, and she had no obligation to do so. But she did.

Breast cancer shakes the soul. Shakes the sleep from our eyes, When the probability of forming a cancerous tumor is a shocking 87 percent, everything else takes second place. Suddenly, what could have been kept a secret became a secret to be shared. And that’s the point. Spreading the word about the BRCA1 and BRCA2 gene mutations will encourage at-risk women to be tested for them. We know that knowledge is power – the more, the better. With the information we have today, women at risk have choices.

No one said they are easy choices. In fact, they are tough choices. Discussions abound. Criticisms abound. Even among caring physicians. Sure, the probability of cancer is high if you carry the gene mutation, but it’s not a guarantee. So why not wait? Why not get screened often? Maybe every six months. Or every three months. Or maybe monthly? MRI’s. Mammos. Alternate them. Screening makes sense medically. Absolutely. And if you also remove the ovaries…? Maybe that would be enough.

A hundred people will have a hundred opinions. That’s why in the end, each woman must decide for herself. She must weigh the risks and benefits. In my own experience and in my conversation with others, the decision is usually psychologically based. If you multiply a healthy woman’s anxiety while waiting for the results of her yearly mammogram by the factor of a thousand, you’ll understand why some at-risk women say they can’t live with the stress of monthly or quarterly screenings. The worry shadows them, affecting their emotional health. Will they find something this time? Next time? The time after that? Every high risk woman struggles to figure out the route she needs to take in order to live as “normal” a life as possible.

I developed a tumor before I knew I was a BRCA1 carrier. So my psychological decision was between a lumpectomy and mastectomy. The risks of recurrence were the same regardless of the surgery. In the end, I chose the lumpectomy in the hopes of continuing to look like my natural everyday self. Hear that? My natural self. So I understand the enormity of choosing preventive mastectomies. Of how upsetting and unnatural that would be. But reducing the risk of cancer from 87% to less than 5% is enormous, too. In fact, from where I sit after two bouts of breast cancer, I think that’s a good deal. I vote for a natural life span 🙂

So, thank you, Ms. Jolie for spreading the word about hereditary cancer. Thank you for raising the awareness of choices.

A celebrity’s voice, especially a celebrity of Angelina Jolie’s stature, carries far, wide and deep. When Michael J. Fox revealed his Parkinsons disease, he raised national awareness of this condition. He established a foundation, raised funds for research, testified at congressional hearings, and kept on working, too.

Celebrities are a wonderful resource in grabbing the public’s attention. But we can’t sit around waiting for a famous person to get sick! Behind the scenes, day by day, and year by year, are professionals and volunteers who maintain the public’s awareness of medical progress. I’m very proud of one such organization which was mentioned in the press last week because of Ms. Jolie’s revelations. That organization is called Facing Our Risks of Cancer Empowered, aka, FORCE.

According to their website (www.facingourrisk.org): FORCE was founded on the principle that no one should have to face hereditary breast and ovarian cancer alone. We are the only national non-profit dedicated to improving the lives of individuals and families affected by hereditary breast and ovarian cancer.

FORCE is laser-focused on hereditary breast and ovarian cancer. The founder of this organization is Sue Friedman, DVM. She and two others wrote a book called, Confronting Hereditary Breast and Ovarian Cancer, published by Johns Hopkins Press. I own a copy and find it an excellent resource when I want clarification about these issues.

As always, I encourage conversation here. If you have a story to share about today’s topic or have questions, please post them and we’ll talk!

LEAVE A COMMENT and your name will be added to this month’s drawing for a fabulous package of books. Five authors from OnFireFiction are offering five stories in LOVE ME SOME COWBOY. Each is a full novel from Jean Brashear, Ginger Chambers, Day Leclaire, Barbara McMahon and Lisa Mondello. I’m a proud member of OFF and happy to provide this prize in addition to a copy of FAMILY INTERRUPTED, my recently released novel of women’s fiction. (Now also in paperback!)

YES, YES…FAMILY INTERRUPTED IS AVAILABLE NOW IN PAPERBACK AT CREATESPACE. WHEE…I’M VERY HAPPY ABOUT THAT!!

Thank you so much for stopping by. I hope to see you for the next edition of Starting Over.

Linda

Starting Over – In the Day Camp

Posted on May 16, 2013 by Linda Barrett

HIT OR MISS–

It’s been hit or miss around here lately. Talking about a bat and a ball.as in softball. My golfer guy has now rediscovered his inner Sandy Koufax, his baseball playing younger self that he left in Brooklyn more years ago than he can remember. Not that he ever stopped following the Dodgers despite Walter O’Malley moving the team to L.A. and Ebbetts Field becoming a memory. My practical, business oriented golfer guy sighed in resignation and loyally followed Dodger games on television. He still does. When we lived in Houston, Mike made a good friend, originally from L.A., and the two of them enjoyed reminiscing about Dodger history. They even attended a few Houston-L.A. games together.

Growing up in Brooklyn, Mike’s favorite pastime was baseball and later, softball. He was an excellent baseball pitcher and outfielder with a strong arm and a few no-hitters to his credit. He even once pitched against Joe Torre. Mr. Torre went on to fame and fortune, and my husband went on to our day camp for adults. Along the way, a broken elbow, a torn labrum (somewhere in the shoulder) and the responsibilities of growing up required a different path.

In time, Mike moved onto softball only and played for many years until finally, he ran out of people his age to play with. For the next 25 years, he engaged in other sports. But our day camp has a softball team. This was a chance for my golfer guy to get in touch with his inner child. He couldn’t wait to step out onto the ball field again.

Sometimes, however, it’s better to live in the past. Softballs that used to be easily caught, now dropped in front of him or went over his head. The instincts for playing the outfield had eroded, and as bad as that was, his batting was even worse. Flailing at the ball or hitting weak grounders was a big departure from past success. And because I’d seen him play many times during long ago summers, I can testify to the fact that he once was highly talented.

Needless to say, a former pleasure was now tinged with disappointment and frustration. Although he’d expected a drop off in skills, limited competency was unanticipated.

Despite his frustrations, Mike kept showing up for practice and games, and kept hoping his skills would improve. Being second oldest on the team didn’t help either. But, he never stopped trying. When other more skillful people were absent, Mike was given a chance to play.

Somewhere along the line, his teammates suggested that a pair of distance glasses might make a difference. Off he went to the eye doctor, hoping for a quick fix. Not to be.The quick fix turned out to be a cataract operation. It seems that catching fly balls requires depth perception, and with only one eye working…well, you get the picture. Around here, cataract operations are as common as age spots. If you haven’t had one, it’s only a matter of time until you do.

The surgery was successful. His eyesight improved, and so did his ability to play the outfield. Unfortunately, hitting a ball is a little more precise than catching one, and that’s still a work in progress. Occasionally, there are flashes of what used to be. But, in fact, we are not fifteen years old anymore.

Recently, my man-child began playing in a league where many of the people are older than he is. Isn’t it amazing how being one of the team’s younger players makes you one of the better players without any improvement in skills?

And now a man who also enjoys chasing little white balls across swaths of green grass also chases larger yellow ones in his field of dreams.

In the day camp, we can enjoy the pleasures of our youth as long as we temper expectations with the wisdom of experience. We’re still learning, still growing. Still playing the greatest game of all–the game called Life.

Have you returned to something that once gave you pleasure but dropped it because you’re not as good as you used to be? Or have you continued to find pleasure in your activities despite some disappointment? Let’s keep the conversation going. Post a comment below.

LEAVE A COMMENT and your name will be part of a drawing for a fabulous package of books. Five authors from OnFireFiction, of which I’m a part, have written five novels under the umbrella name of Love Me Some Cowboy. Each story is a full novel from Jean Brashear, Ginger Chambers, Day Leclaire, Barbara McMahon and Lisa Mondello. I’m happy to provide this terrific prize in addition to my own novel, Family Interrupted – also terrific, by the way 🙂

As always, thanks so much for stopping by. I hope to see you again for the next edition of Starting Over.

Linda

Starting Over – Fingers on the Keyboard

Posted on May 14, 2013 by Linda Barrett

IT’S ALL ABOUT PASSION —

Sorry, I’m not speaking about that kind of passion, but about other passions that fuel our souls and make us happy. I’m talking about passion in our work or hobby or avocation. Even passion about the hunt!

The ‘hunt’ was explained to me by my friend, Phyllis, a tireless fashionista. “Forget shop til you drop,” she said. “That’s too general. The hunt is about finding exactly the item you had in mind, in the exact color, by the date you need it, and at the right price.” Let’s just say that Phyllis is not only tenacious but has an eye for color, quality and value. She’s taught me a few things along the way–for which I’m grateful because…I have no taste. I have no patience in stores. I get hives after five minutes. I like wearing all kinds of colors, but recently discovered that gray looks horrible on me. What took me so long? For some women, passion lies in working with color, style and texture. Satisfaction can be gained by a trip to a mall or two.

I think passion is revealed in the way we choose to spend our time. I’ve read many true stories about men and women just like you and me who change careers mid-stream because they’d reached their now or never moment. Years pass quickly and they are finite. So, we hit now or never. Do we nurture the yearning that’s lurked inside us but never had a chance to bloom? Or do we continue on our “well trodden ways” putting responsibilities to and for others first and never reaching for our star? Those with irresistible dreams will figure out how to satisfy their yearning.

I read about a woman who finally learned to play the bagpipes. Another woman started a landscape gardening business, and a third walked the Appalachian trail–finally. My friend, Margo, who has an artistic bent. learned to paint in oils and has sold several pieces. My neighbor does all her own landscaping, not as a business, but because she loves it. She’s always outside, fiddling with her plants, winning awards in the community.

As for me? When my now or never moment came, my writing career was born. I’d always produced bits and pieces along the way – a poem, a short story, a family story. But I could never envision a professional writing career without feeling guilty–and worried. How could I count on writing to pay the bills? Publishing is definitely not an exact science. My solution was to become a weekend writer for the first few years. I wrote and submitted proposals to my editor again and again. Until I could prove myself.

I’m still proving myself. I’m starting over as a writer one more time. Changes in the publishing industry have provided new opportunities for writers, wonderful opportunities. But as usual, there are no guarantees. The road is still a rocky one. Between learning new technology and “getting your name out” as you must, authors worry about having less time to write. I used to worry about that, too. But not anymore. I’ve learned that although my daily schedule and “to-do list” may have changed since I’ve become my own independent publisher, my fingers are still on the keyboard. The words still come. Passion isn’t fleeting when it fuels the soul.

What are you passionate about? What is the one “want” you’d love to fulfill if you could? Dancing? Piano? What’s stopping you from trying? Leave a comment below, and let’s start the conversation!

CONTEST NEWS! This month’s drawing is for a fabulous package of books. Five authors from OnFireFiction are offering a five story romance package called Love Me Some Cowboy. Each story is a full novel from Jean Brashear, Ginger Chambers, Day Leclaire, Barbara McMahon, and Lisa Mondello. I’m a proud member of OnFireFiction and am happy to provide this terrific prize in addition to a copy of Family Interrupted, my recently released novel of women’s fiction. LEAVE A COMMENT and your name will be added to the drawing.

As always, thank you so much for stopping by. I hope to see you for the next edition of Starting Over.

Linda